I am deada** one of those people who will look at you calling my phone and stare at it til my song come back on...likeeeeeeee BAAABYYYYYGIRLLLLLLLL *in my B. Simone tone voice*! It’s kinda like one of those things where, “I’m sorry but NOT sorry!” Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to protect yo energy. Can I get an AMEN? You see cause I worked real hard to have the peace I have within me now and along the way, I’ve learned ...it’s not always good to pick up that phone.
No seriously, I’m sure we’ve all experienced it at least one time. When you know somebody calling you and it’s bout to be some bullsh*t. Like you just know for a FACT that this conversation bout to blow your high and everything. I remember having this friend that was just so toxic towards the end of our friendship, I didn’t even realize how much she effected the genuine person that I was. Anybody who personally knows me, will tell you, I am one loyal a** person. When I truly care and love someone, at times I felt like it was my responsibility to take on their issues too. You know how it is when a friend is going through something and you’re there to lend a shoulder to cry on. Well that was me but like times ten. I would care for my friends like they was my significant other...it’s ridiculous I know. But as I grew older and I became more of the person I wanted to be, I realized...this chick was really on some nut sh*t. ( anybody who knows me knows, I said that last line with all of the Philadelphian within me ..lol okay let’s back to the blog ) But nah, shawty was wild. So, I found myself putting more and more distance between us. Not really answering every time she called. Texting less. Then it just became me hearing from her only when I was the one reaching out. Now one thing bout me, I’m not going to fight for a friendship, a relationship, or any d*mn ship that’s not gonna fight for me too. Every type of relationship needs balance. It is not a one way street. It requires effort and work. So I stopped communicating all together and that’s when I realized how important I was to this person.
Honestly, even though we’ve known each other for years, I wish her well and I’ve accepted that our friendship has ran its course. Sometimes it hurts more to hold on to things that are toxic for you. She was my best friend for a long time so naturally grieved the death of our friendship. It was a very depressing time for me because I remember at one point in life she meant everything to me. But people grow and sometimes that growth is going in two different places. It’s called: growing pains.
As the late great legend once said,
So just, trust the process. Some friends are here for a season, and some friends are here for a reason. Learn the lesson and move forward with your life. God may have just removed that person out of your life to make room for new blessings!
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